You've heard (read me) rant about my past, and me liking to analyze that past and thinking about it and trying to make the best out of past deeds and mistakes and successes. However one thing is pulling out blurry images from a dusty hard drive called brain and a different one is finding something completely unexpected fucking cross your path while listening to something completely unrelated, and the your fucking brain makes the goddammed connection, and it so happens it's raining at the same time, and I do love rain, and what it brings.
Fucking 2 minute bubble bursts.
And it all began because I was watching 12 year old webcam videos of myself, made for myself as well, either singing or playing the bass or guitar.
And then I saw "younger videos"... still playing, different appearance though.
Naivity dead, hope forlorn, and I didn't remember that much pain.
But if there is something I can really do good is read myself... I was in fucking agony and I didn't even know... 2-minute bubble-burst, and it came back for an instant, how the hell did I manage to move forward??
"I stay still and changes pass me by(...) I'm the bitter in your sweet"
... I did come out with that...
There is still so much I do NOT understand of either this world or myself...
I guess fear is sometimes necessary in order for us to be reminded of our own vulnerabilities and that of those people we encounter, meet, relate to and have relationships with...
I guess I'm tender... so here's a steak
No hay comentarios:
Publicar un comentario