The thing is, I was giving a thorough thought to the idea of writing about dreams, as it is something I had been speaking about lately, and I even had some to tell and some ideas of my own regarding dreams and the like (yup, illusions and mirages count)... however I found myself browsing through the folders of my computer and... no, you naughty bastards, I did not fins that forgotten, well-hidden folder full of porn... actually what I found was way better... to some extent at least: I found old files that had been in my computers since as early as 1998, most of them dating from 2000 onwards... yes, almost 20-year-old files. That was a shocker... and all the way Def Leppard was the soundtrack...
Well, I won't go into much detail because the internet does not need it, but I found out that I used to save the e-mails I sent into Word files so they wouldn't be erased from the "sent" folder of my older e-mail addresses (I don't seem to be able to recall any e-mail addresses I had prior to 2005, although I had had, at least something around 4 different ones).
The thing is, I have re-read those e-mails... geez I was one needy kid sometimes , but some things I wrote did shock me... one of them was back in 2004 talking to an older German acquaintance of mine with whom I lost all contact and links as time went by, the person I first started talking in German with on a daily basis... to keep the story simple, I was trying to figure out or guess what my life would be like in 2014, that is 10 years from 2004. I actually got nothing right, not even close... not even where I'd be living... but I found out that I already knew that if I had a child, what I'd like his name to be... and I thought this was a rather recent idea, it turns out it's been there for years stored in a one-way alley in my hard-drive of a brain. Maybe the core never changes much and only the crust is what we modify over time...
Beyond this particular point of interest, other texts were found, all written by me... At some point I even thought "hey, this guy can write", and then I went like "oh, wait, this guy is/was me, holy shit". It's been nice.
Finally the winds of time, finally a slight change in the weather comes, and in my briefs I feel a chill, goosebumps up my skin. I'm glad winter is coming, slowly, but undeterred. So looking forward to being a human heater, so looking forward to the cold days.
A few moments ago I was thinking to myself "My 34th year in this planet has been rather interesting, especially the last month, I'm positive about my 35th" and I've just watched the clock and today I take a step further in my ageing while enjoying a glass of the wine I last drank while skinny dipping in a rocky beach about 100 or 150 miles from here.
I'd say so much more, but I've decided this will suffice for today. The older I get the clearer I see that although bits and pieces of my life and thoughts may be left here for posterity, I want to keep most to myself and to/with the people I live and experience things with, beside my own solitary endeavors.
Because the night is dark and full of promises...
Def Leppard's "Women"
"He was born with a passion, love and hate
A restless spirit with a need for a mate
But there was somethin' that was missin', somethin' lost
So he came with the answer, here's what it cost"
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