Inga stjarnor ser jag lysa här, vilka malare sina verk här färgar?

As promised, I'm goint to talk about today. You know, you may call me a superstitious bastard but in time I've realized I've got some sort of special feelings, senses, that make me experience life in quite an interesting manner. Now... some know I'm heathen, and it's not only due to reenacting Swedish vikings... it just happened before and in a way Germany's to blame...

Anyhow, the matter that I wanted to talk about is the days of the week. Now in heathen Europe, the Germanic part especially, the dasy of the week had the names of their heathen gods. Now the worst part for me is Tuesdays, the days of Tiw or Týr, the one-handed god of war, binder of Fenrir. Now I don't know if it's me or actually Týr's day possess some magic... but I dread them. The worst things have nearly always happened on Tuesdays. (Now you may call me superstitious). I woke up today and felt a strange vibe, and yeah, it's been a Tuesday... but things actually didn't go that wrong. It's just that a plan-changer swung by and pop went the weasel. But news from afar have reached me, and there again that tuesdaysy vibe... I sniff and it smells weird...

However, this week has still nice surprises for me in store, but the best part is I'll be again sort of in contact with my other life while in front of a pyre while the cold late fall wind tries to peel my face in an icy caress.

Last but not least, I hate you brother. And I love you as well, I do. I just hate how you can get into my head without even knocking and how you know what's in it. 27 years dealing with rats to end up seeing what sort of dog I am... My closest are rats... and they belong to the enemy Trine, my complete opposites. I, the dog, am my own master.

(Ångestens Högborg by Thyrfing)

I en kvalmfylld andlig öken har jag sett dem gå
Drabbade av själasoten, hågloösa, med ilska I synen
Det är som sorgen aldrig skulle lämna deras ögon
Som om sinnet hade svarinat för evigt

Sammanträngda på ytor små
Lager på lager (I boningar grå) I ångestens högborg
Under jorden hastar de - jägande sökande: ingenting finnande
Varför stannar de aldrig upp?

Innan nuer fredliga gömma finner
I susand lundar ivingas även ni till vila
Inte in stillsam undran - en rasande fråga
Varför stannar ni aldrig upp?

Oändlict upplyst - fär alltid höljd I mörker
Inga stjarnor ser lag lysa här
Vilka skalder dikta I denna dimma? Vilka malare sina verk här färgar?
Oändligt upplust - för alltid höljd I mörker
Inga stjarnor ser jag lysa här
Vilka malare sina verk här färgar?

The Urge

Again I feel that rush, that urge in me. It's been years now. I'd forgotten what it was like...

I think a lot, kaleidoscopic visions displayed like turkeys in heat. So much there is. But the day ahead is full of work and my head's at half mast, not that I'm sad, just that I'm sick... thought of taking pills to ease the pain but hey, no pain no gain, so fuck it.

I'm still feeling epic and with forces renewed (guess a good night sleep does that sort of stuff). But I've got an urge to write agian, to write what I'm thinking of... honestly I've already got some next posts planned, but not yet, I've got work to do.

So I'll leave now, I hope you are intrigued, and leave this misty speech of mine concluded, caged behind a song by Iced Earth from their American Civil War trilogy (Gettysburg 1863). The first lines are what got me thinking today.

Just a mile or so away
Is my dearest friend in this world.
He wears the Blue and I the Grey
And god it hurts me so
The last time we were together I grabbed his hand and I pledged
If I ever draw my sword on you may the Good Lord strike me dead

 

Eyes filled up with blue

So... again I stand here before you, ladies and gentlemen, and this time being have alive. Yes, half alive indeed: I have a feeling I've caught a nasty cold. If it ain't so then my body is just asking for a recess...

Anyhow, today the day was quite standard, save for a cool visit I got this morning and the girls that came to my office in groups of four. Lucky enough they are to smart to take me too serious so I ended up joking and enjoying my agonic morning till I realized it was gone and still much had been left to do. Good news came, still, and I got me a medieval tent ^^

I don't feel like talking about the afternoon so I'll just leave you with a song here. I know, I know, I had cursed the seven hells as I cursed this artist's name... but people change, stones erode and new grass grows... I'm beginning to see beyond the over-merchandised image and trying to see how it stands for itself. It sort of reminds me of the Beatles, and the video of Rob Zombie's House of 1000 corpses. For fuck's sake, I'm a musician and sensitive so yeah, I've got a soft spot for strange things with glitter...

 Something, something about this place
Something, something about the chase

Something, something about just knowing when it's right

In this night-time anguish of difficult breathing, I close my eyes and reminisce as all turns to vivid colors and sounds fill the hall. It's not Sauron's but it's bright... I smile.

"Zwei

Hier kommt die Sonne
Drei
Sie ist der hellste Stern von allen
Vier
Und wird nie vom Himmel fallen"

Random act of writing.

Now... I would say many things. This weekend has been full of surprises in a way. But in a way I'm also at a standstill. Honestly enough I may say I'm having a good time in my life, I enjoy it. For the first time in my life I'm being completely honest to myself and doing all the things that in the past sort of scared the shit out of me.

What I'm I just doing? I'm listenning to Vildhjärta's Dagger. Melodic death metal direct from Sweden. Why do most things I do or think end up taking me toward Sweden?
Weirdest part I may add? I've recently had a deja-vú. What amazes me is that in time I've become much faster at pinpointing all my deja-vús and trying to take advantage of this sneek-peek I've had into the future by acting instead of reacting... who knows, maybe it'll pay off somehow...

If I could sum up all the things I've thought of or have been thinking about I would say that I'm in line with my soul-piercing eye and my feelings. Words I've heard from those best in my life are making me see more than I thought I would. Well I think I'm talking too much about my inner shite (Irish accent) so I'm just gonna say that I went to meet a few of my fellow reenactors and friends in a gargantuan Harley Davidson listenning to my all-time-fav-band Thyrfing, while wearing a Wehrmacht field tunic and overcoat. I felt so imperial...

More to come, soon...

Yet again...

Yes, my beloved animated entities so-called humans... After 3 years I'm blogging again. This time apparently in a more serious/official or at least in a non microsofty-manner (that is bye bye MSN spaces and up yours wordpress).

But for those who have until today been totally unaware of my existence (as yours has been to me) I shall introduce myself.

I believe myself to be anachronistic, sort of misplaced in time. I should have been born around 1000 years ago somewhere in the east of Scandinavia (probably what is nowadays Sweden)... though I most probably would have been an ill-tempered, big-breasted viking lady with an appetite for destruction.... Anyhow, you may begin to glimpse I'm quite deranged when writing. For starters, this is my meadhall, that's because I like mead, so do the math and you'll sorta guess what my likes and dislikes are.

Still, out of all the many things I have a fancy for, like and/or even love, what you'll probably get here is me vomiting my thoughts as is this were some sort of escape valve... or maybe I'll act a little more "according to my age" and bother you with articles on history, and weapons and musical/literary criticism... We'll see...

Well, if I caught your attention my deed is done and my purpose achieved. See you soon bloggers, by-passers and utterly bored souls whose fates have been led here. Cheers!

P.S.: Grilled tastes better.